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Thursday, 8 October 2009
KAT wrote: Do you have any suggestions on how do you control a child's behavior at school?
Dear Kat: That is a tricky question, as once your child is at school and out of your control, you pretty much have NO control of his or he behavior. We can teach and teach our children manners, and proper behaviors until we are blue in the face and we hope that they will reflect your teachings out in public.
This brings to mind something that my own daughter said about her little 3 year old who is really well behaved most of the time. When he gets in Preschool with one boy in particular, who by the way misbehaves, then this little guy starts misbehaving too. It is amazing to me how much influence friends have on children. I suggested to her that maybe the teacher can help to keep the two separated to a certain extent if she continues to see a problem. Maybe steering her son toward other children, with play groups and such, who do not encourage misbehavior could be a solution as well. Unfortunately there is another side to the misbehavior of the little boy that has such an influence on my grandchild. This little boy's mother died a couple of years ago and life for him has simply not been the same. Without a Mommy in the picture, and going through a bunch of Nanny's, his stability isn't there anymore and he acts out in mischievous ways. See there is reason for everything.
If you offered to be a room mom, or a teachers helper and donated some of your time to be in your child's class, then you could observe to a certain extent what is going on. Talk to the teacher and find out if the behaviors you are concerned about is something that happens when he is around particular children. Maybe he can't sit still and concerns for ADHD could be an issue. There are lots of things you can look at, but be sure to not compare him to your other children if you have others, as each one is unique. Sometimes children have worries that need attention about school, that you could discuss with your child. Sometimes parents start their children in school because their birthdays are just before the cut off deadline, but they are actually not mature enough emotionally to handle being in school.
Without knowing the specific circumstances, age and such your child is, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact nature of what your child is doing. Hopefully some of my general suggestions have helped you. If all else fails, then talk to your child and see what is on his mind. Maybe he will give you the clues you need to get your child back on the right track and relieve both your concerns and his when he is in school.
Glad you asked!