Graduation, Getting a Job, Internet relationship...

Dear Mrs. G:

I have read your "Mothers Day Poem" carefully and got moved. I always feel that I own my family too much and just cann't wait to pay them back, financially-since we know we love each other.
I am very depress recently. I will graduate from Uni in July and havent got a job. Mum think that is because i didnt work hard in uni--she never believe in me. She asked me to take a postgraduate exam or some other exam to become governor in my country. But this is not life i want. I dont want political life or socalled smooth life--i want to be a freelance translator and travel to as many country as I can. Then I fall in love with a boy on line and he is not even in my country. I feel terrible. I am thinking I am gonna to lose everything...

Best wishes

Yours not happy muffin


Dear Muffin,

Real life decisions are very difficult. You sound like you love your family and want to please them but you are frustrated and stressed out with the uncertainty of what lies ahead of you. Graduation from the University was your goal for many years, but now that it is here, it is a bit frightening, because you will now need to use your education and begin your career. This is a difficult economy right now and there are so many more unemployed people trying to get a job. There is lots of competition out there for every job, but don't give up hope and keep thinking positive.

Most universities have an office that helps with placement of their graduates. Begin there and get all the information you can about how to write the best resume, and how to interview impressively. Be open minded about opportunities and send out as many resume's as you can.

Keep focused and continue your interviews and sending out resumes. Eventually you will get a job, so don't give up hope.


You mention that you fell in love with a boy online. With all you have on your mind, it is no wonder that you are feeling overwhelmed and depressed. It seems like an online romance of any sort should probably take a back seat to your most pressing needs and that is graduating and becoming employed. When the time is right you will find Mr. Wonderful!

My guess is that you have already made your Mum really proud of you for going through college and graduating. Once you have a terriffic job, I would guess that Mum will be very happy and forget what she wants and begin to see the joy you feel in your own chosen vocation.

I don't recommend online dating. There is alot of deception that goes on and you never really know for sure if the person you are chatting with is who they say they are. You have a very long life ahead of you that my best advice is to focus on your job, interviews, and then begin your dating with individuals that you meet face to face, and not online. Be very careful!

Keep Smiling, you have a great future to look forward to. I feel confident that you can do it!

Sincerely, Mrs. G

Mothers Day Poem

I wanted to share with you a favorite poem I learned from my Mother. It captures the essence of what most Mothers really want for Mothers day. Read it and make your comments below.

Thanks, Mrs. G.

WHICH LOVED BEST?
by Joy Allison (1917)

"I love you, Mother, said little John;
Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on.
And he was off to the garden swing,
Leaving his mother the wood to bring.

"I love you, Mother, said rosy Nell,
"I love you more than tongue can tell."
Then she teased and pouted full half the day.
Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.

I love you, Mother," said little Nan,
"To-day I'll help you all that I can;
How glad I am that school doesn't keep!"
So she rocked the babe till he fell asleep.

Then stepping softly, she took the broom,
And swept the floor, and dusted the room.
Busy and happy all day was she;
Helpful and happy as a child could be.

"I love you, Mother," again they said,
Three little children going to bed.
How do you think that mother guessed
Which of them really loved her best?

My advice for those who are reading this post, that all our Mother really want's is love, and kindness and thoughtfulness. She really doens't need more perfume, or clothes, or gifts you buy at the store. It is the gifts of the heart that make Mom happy. Try it and see her response.


Today my son, yes even two days before Mothers day, called me up on the telephone to wish me a Happy mothers day. He told me that he really wanted to buy me something but he was broke, so he wanted to tell me one of the greatest things that I have done for him in his life. He said though there were many, he appreciated how I took such good care of him with every migrane. He said, "Thankyou for still helping me even during the migranes and I yelled at you and was pretty mean, but somehow you knew that it was not me but the migraine."

I want to thank this son of mine, as his gratitude for me has justified me as a mother. We all question if we did enough or helped enough or loved enough, but His phone call, let me know that my mothering was enough and more.

Happy, Happy Mothers Day to all mothers! Happy, Happy Day to those who are yet to be mothers or have not had the opportunity to be one. Women deserve all the kudos that they get for all that they do in the service of their families. Have a wonderful day!

Sincerely,
Mrs. G

Crazy Economy, hobbies, Scrapbooking and more..

My husband and I are nearing retirement but with the down turn in the economy, we have been forced to make alot of changes. My husband has had to take on full time employment, because the clients he has served and done the work for, at home, have been dropping like flies. He has to travel quite a distance now, to go into work and back every day and it is really hard on him, but he has to do it or we could lose our home, and everything we have worked so hard for all these years. I also work part time, but would like to do more if my health would permit. What can I do to be of better support to him, as he comes home exhausted.

Signed,
Getting older and more tired.

Dear Getting older,

If it makes you feel any better, and it probably won't, you can know that you aren't the lone ranger. This economic crisis has hit just about everyone in one way or another, and everyone is having to make great sacrifices to live. My greatest advice to you is something that I think you might think I am alittle crazy for suggesting. Go to a video store and rent the movie "Pollyanna". Yes, I said "Pollyanna". In fact, everyone who reads this blog should do the same. The reason for suggesting this movie is that the theme for the main character in this movie, is one who no matter what troubles, challenges, hardships and difficulties she faces, looks on the bright side of things. She made up a game called "The Glad Game" to deal with difficult issues. She is one who was handed hundreds of lemons and made them all into lemonade by adding some sweetness and sugar. If you don't remember the glad game, then I guess you will for sure have to rent the movie to find out!!!

All of us could wallow in self pity, and mourn our losses, but we are still alive, and you in particular have a home still. You husband is one of the lucky ones who was able to still get a job, even though it meant travel and not working at home. My guess also is that if you are close to retiring, and He secured employment, that means his skills were still marketable, and many senior aged individuals are overlooked for younger people in the business world. You should be cheering.

If you are working part time, that means you still have time to make him a terrific home made meal for him to look forward to at the end of the day. You can support him by keeping the house tidy and even give him a foot massage or back rub as he returns home. Let him know your gratitude for his diligence in taking such good care of you and make sure you tell him of your love and appreciation. Spend your evenings together and cuddle up beside him with either a good book or a Hallmark Chanel movie (you know the feel good movies that you know how they will end at the very beginning but you enjoy the ride) , but just be together. These are the kinds of things that will make a difference in his life. He will have alot to look forward to when he finally gets home if you do the kind and little things that you know he loves, and for sure all women know that a way to a mans heart is through his stomach. The key words are "HOME MADE" not eating out or instant anything!

Count your blessings, and not the gray hairs on your heads. Smile and be happy, and like Pollyanna, look for the good and the happy thoughts instead of the downside of what you are dealing with and I believe you both will make it through all of your trying times with flying colors.

Best wishes,
Mrs. G.
P.S. When I was googling to find a photo of the Movie "Pollyanna" I came across a blog that is worth reading the post that includes some of the same sentiments that I have expressed. Go to http://hartsaplenty.blogspot.com/2008/10/pollyanna-effect.html

______________________________________________

Just a note from MRS G... For many of you who find yourselves out of work and with time on your hands, how about pulling out those hobbies that can be of value to not only relieve the stress, but let you feel like you have accomplished something. My favorite hobby is digital scrapbooking. I love to create pages that I do digitally so that I can share with my children and family, and don't have to create individual pages for them. What am I talking about... well you create one page digitally and save it and attach it to an email to all of those you thing might enjoy it too or would want to add it to their own scrapbook collection. They can then print it off for themselves, but it is you that created it. Scrap booking has taken on a whole new look thought doing it digital. When money is an issue, no problem with digital scrapbooking because you can download tons of freebie papers, elements, kits, etc, for free and you don't even have to purchase the products at the craft store. All you will need is your creative genius, digital downloaded collections and photo paper to print the, and you are on your way. I like to have my 12 x 12's printed at Costco, and if you want you can take your scrapbook pages and make photo books. If money is an issue, you can simply store your projects on a disc or on your computer or external storage to print when you can afford to do it, but in the mean time you have scrapbooked your photos and kept up with the memories. Good positive project!!!! I have a tip for you too.... if you go to http://ikeagoddess.blogspot.com/, she provides daily tips of tons of free downloads to get your paper & product collections started. Happy Scrapping!

Who is the mother.. Me or mom???

Dear Mrs. G,

My mother is in her mid 70's and my father died about 8 years ago. She is happily living alone. An old acquaintance (male) she has known for years whose wife just passed away has started to make unwanted advances to Mom. He has been so bold to suggest that they could live together and get married. He is 90 years old. Though my Mother would consider marriage, she says she doesn't want the burden of taking care of a 90 year old man, as she took care of my father for years until he finally died. The problem is that this man is persistent and even thought she has told him she isn't interested, he keeps just showing up at her door at all hours of the day, and calls all day too. She doesn't want to be rude to this man, so she just endures it and complains to me. What to do??

Sincerely,
In the middle of all of this.

Dear " In the middle of all of this",

It seems to me that your mother should be taking care of this instead of burdening you, or maybe you need to back off a bit and let Mom with all her wisdom of her age, deal with it in her own way. It seems however that she thinks that being polite and enduring the visits and the phone calls, will get this Man to go away one day, but that isn't working. I have a suggestion that works for all unwanted visitors at the door as well as on the phone. Tell your Mom she is under no way obligated to open the door when he comes over and knocks or rings the bell. He doesn't really know if she's home until she opens up the door, and when she does, of course he will always come inside. Tell her to buy a peep hole that she can have installed in her door is a great, but small investment. She will be able to see who is at her door, without the visitor knowing, and if it is him, she can simply not open the door. No explanation needed. He will get the hint eventually, and stop coming.

The same thing applies for the telephone. There is a service that the telephone company offers and it is called Caller ID that will tell her who and what telephone number is calling. When he calls, she doesn't need to feel obligated to pick up the telephone. She can screen any unwanted caller and enjoy only those whom she wishes to speak with. This caller ID service is at a minimum cost maybe $6 - $7 a month and would be well worth the price to not have to speak with an unwanted caller. This applies to solicitors as well. She will have to purchase a Caller ID telephone or an adaptor that can be plugged into an existing phone that has a Call ID reader. If she has an answering machine or service attached to the telephone, she can listen to all the calls she has missed, and choose which ones she wants to reply to. It is pretty simple.

Tell your Mom that you have all the confidence in the world in her and that you know she can handle this. It is ok to say "NO" to unwanted advances, visits, or calls, but no manner of service... caller ID or peep holes will stop the advances unless she learns to say "NO". Mom needs to take control of her life and that relieves you of having to be in the middle of things.

Best wishes,
Mrs. G

Swine Flu, Food Storage, Emergency preparedness

Ask Mrs. G suggests that everyone do their part to protect themselves and their family against the dangerous potential of the Swine flu. I read on a blog today a post about the swine flu and the post was entitled, if you are prepared, you won't fear. This is some advice that I would like to give to all those who read this blog.
Get yourselves prepared for any kind of an emergency. Don't panic, be calm, but just get those things you will need to be prepared for in the event something happens. The swine flu seems to be the most pertinent concern, so I will direct my thoughts to preparations for the Swine flu or really any other outbreak fo the same nature. You can go to the CDC website located at http://www.cdc.gov and look up all kinds of health concerns and get information that you need to help yourselves and your family. If you go here http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/swineflu_you it gives all the symptoms, what to do, how to protect yourself and many other great helps. Part of these helps are to have things on hand in the event you are home bound and taking care of someone with the flu.

Prepare yourself:

- Have clear fluids on hand such as water, broth, sport drinks, electrolyte
beverages for infants to keep from being dehydrated. (Gatorade can be purchased
in powder form for long term storage.
- Clean hands with soap and water and alcohol based hand rub often, especially
after coughing and sneezing in hands.
- Medications to help lessen Symptoms would be over the counter cold and flu
that don't contain aspirin. Meds that control aches and
fevers that do not contain aspirin because taking aspirin with the flu can
possibly cause Reyes syndrome.
- Loose fitting surgical mask for the sick person to wear
- Face masks or respirators to help prevent the spread of the sickness.
- Antibacterial soaps, sprays, gels, and other cleaners.
- Paper towels for drying hands.
- Thermometer
These are just a few of the suggestions that I have read about, but you should prepare yourselves with a few other things too. If you were having to be in quarantine for a period of time to prevent the spread of disease, you should have plenty of food and water on hand for your family. Starting with a 2 week supply would be a good start. Having some food storage on hand in the event of some kind of emergency need is vital. Getting yourself prepared, will bring you peace of mind in the event you need to use your preparations. It is better to be safe than to be sorry, so do what you need to do to prepare.

This is just general good advice for everyone, but if you want more specific advice, go to the above listed website and become knowledable about all that is possible with health concerns throughout the world and where you life.

My mother is an enabler for my brother who is mentally ill. She makes excuses for everything and covers up things he does mentally, or just plain bad behaviors that need to be addressed. Mom lives alone but when she talks, she uses the word "WE" meaning her and my brother. Mom ignores important issues that I bring to her attention in attempts to try to help my brother and it seems to act like she is in a fairyland where everything is kisses, love and sweetness, but in reality, things with my brothers mental illness are really needing attention. Me and my brothers and sisters tried to get mental help for our brother but my mother blocked our efforts and lied about the seriousness of what he did. She thinks love will make everything better. What can I do?

Signed, The Sane One


Dear Sane one,

It sounds like your mother has let your brothers mental illness take over her life, and she sounds like she might be on the codependant side. Sometimes when single parents have an ill child, it is easier for them to ignore what is wrong, because then they really don't have to deal with the reality of their issues. Sometimes a parent of sick children, get so absorbed into taking care of them, they just can't let go and hold on even tighter. It sounds like if your brother were placed in the care of someone other than your mother, your mother would feel alone and thus the "We" part of her existance would change. Is your brother at risk to harm himself or others? Does your brother live with his mother? Perhaps you could get the both of them to go to some family counceling and bring up the mental health issues as well as your mothers denial in front of a therapist. I can feel your frustration wanting to help your brother but not be able to because your Mother is standing in the way of any progress or help. It sounds like there maybe more than one mental health issue that you are dealing with. Once again, I suggest you try to get into counseling or therapy of some sort. Group or family therapy would be a great starting point.
Best of luck,
Mrs. G

Parenting, Dating, and Relationships.

Anonymous said...My 2 year old daughter is such a behavior problem. She is my only child so far, and we are a two parent family, but nothing either of us do seems to help our daughter not throw tantrums, hit and bite and be just plain naughty? Do you have any suggestions?
24 April 2009 11:42
Mrs. G said...
Absolutely I have some suggestions for you! Have you heard of the "Terrible twos?" They are real and this is an important time to teach the proper behaviors and be consistant about it. Disciplining a two year old is hard because they really don't quite understand, but once again with Consistantcy, they will understand the pattern that if they misbehave, and understand what they are doing that is not good behavior, there will be a consequence. Both parents need to be together on this part or your child will get mixed messages.Determine what you will do as a time out and make sure you are united or on the same page. For a 2 year old, usually a disapproving look and a harshly spoken "No" over time will change a bad behavior. Then turn and walk away. Children like to please, and won't like how this feels. Another suggestion might be a time out, however it can't be for a very long time or your 2 year old child will forget why they are in time out. Find a particular place where the child will be taken to t spend their time out, one that is remote from where the rest of you will be, like a corner of a room or stairs or such. Tell them that they will sit there for 2 minutes or until they can stop crying or be ready to join the family without bad behavior. At first the child won't stay there and you will need to be firm in your efforts to keep the child in the time out place. Each time your child is placed there, they will realize it isn't a fun place to be and eventually their bad behavior will change as they think about having to be in time out. Parents should not lose their temper but speak firmly and after the time out, talk briefly about why they were in time out, and ask if they want to be a big girl now and play nicely and be with the family.Just be consistant and make sure that an out pouring of love is given once the behavior has changed positively. Treats don't hurt to give out from time to time either, but be careful as kids will learn to manipulate you for a treat. They are really smart and growing and learning, so do your best and you will be successful!
24 April 2009

Anonymous said...
I can never seem to get to speak with Dr. Laura when I try, so I thought that I would bring my question to you. I am dating a woman who I have really fallen for. I shower her with gifts and take her to the best resturaunts and try to show her the kind of a man who she should want. I fear that she doesn't feel for me the same as I do, and I wonder if she is wowed by the "Things" than she is wowed by me. How can I know? 24 April 2009 Mrs. G said...
Dear Anonymous... Wow, what a compliment... coming to me for advice since you couldn't get into Dr. Laura's show? I love Dr. Laura too, and if I hadn't known better, I would have thought she and I must have been sisters before we were born, because we certainly think alike in many ways. I try to guess what she will answer her callers, and most of the time, with few exceptions, I am very close to figuring out what she would have said. Thank-you for your ultimate compliment and here is my advice for you......

There is one sure fire way that I can see to find out whether or not she is in the relationship because of you or what you can do and give her. STOP, I repeat STOP giving her trinkets, gifts and such, and just give her what you personally have to offer. You give YOU. The you things might be...meaningful conversation, share your opinions, read a book together, give her your time, or other acts of kindnesses. How about cooking at your place for her or taking to her place groceries and see what she can cook up, then you do the dishes. Showing her your true nature beyond your Money is a true test. If she is only out for the money and what you can buy her, then you will know it by her response.

It is better to know now than to get married and have to maintain such a lofty lifestyle with someone who is only in it for the ride and what she can get from you. If you did marry someone like this, I wonder what would happen to your marrige when hard times hit, and believe me, hard times happen to everyone at sometime in their life. Good luck and let me know how it goes!Sincerely,
Mrs. G.

24 April 2009

Learn the word, 'No!" Groceries, Meals, and Food Storage,

Anonymous said...
What a great opportunity for people to get answers to their questions and concerns. I have one for you. I have developed some talents with regard to computer graphic design. Everyone that knows me, knows of my skills. Every week, I have at least 2 - 6 individuals asking me to make a poster, project or flyer, handout, or even to teach computer classes. I have a full time job, and I give alot of service and I simply don't have the extra time to do all the things that people really should learn how to do for themselves. How can I say No, in a kind way without making people think I am a tyrant for not saying yes. Most graphic projects take anywhere from 3 - 5 hours to complete and all these extra hours, I simply cannot fit in my schedule. Please help. 23 April 2009 16:38

Mrs. G said... I too have been in your very situation and I do have advice for you. You need to be alittle gentler on yourself, and only you know what you can do and what you can't. It is ok to learn to say the words, "NO". If you do not ever extend yourself in service, then you are losing out on a great opportunity, but if you do your fair share and simply can't do it, have no qualms about saying, I am sorry, I cannot do that for you." One more thing, you don't need to offer explainations or excuses. Simply say, "No" as gracefully as possible. You can do it!
Best wishes!
Mrs. G.
23 April 2009


Anonymous said...
I seem to run out of money and groceries before the end of the month. What can I do? 23 April 2009 19:56
Mrs. G said... Do you have a monthly budget set for groceries? Do you schedule out your meals for the month and purchase what you need to have for cooking the meals? Do you go out to lunch or dinner frequently when it isn't in your monthly food budget? If you can answer no to any of these questions, the answer is to start doing this. Planning is the key to making your money and food budget last until the end of the month. There are also tons of blogs and websites that you can print coupons, get low cost recipes, find out what foods are on sale during the month and so much more. Do you have any food storage set aside? If not, set a budget to start the $5 a week plan and start getting your food storage in place. Then if you find yourself without any food money and no food, you can tap into your food storage supply to get you through until your next pay check.
Good luck,Mrs. G
23 April 2009 20:02