Child's behavior in school

KAT wrote: Do you have any suggestions on how do you control a child's behavior at school?

Dear Kat: That is a tricky question, as once your child is at school and out of your control, you pretty much have NO control of his or he behavior. We can teach and teach our children manners, and proper behaviors until we are blue in the face and we hope that they will reflect your teachings out in public.

This brings to mind something that my own daughter said about her little 3 year old who is really well behaved most of the time. When he gets in Preschool with one boy in particular, who by the way misbehaves, then this little guy starts misbehaving too. It is amazing to me how much influence friends have on children. I suggested to her that maybe the teacher can help to keep the two separated to a certain extent if she continues to see a problem. Maybe steering her son toward other children, with play groups and such, who do not encourage misbehavior could be a solution as well. Unfortunately there is another side to the misbehavior of the little boy that has such an influence on my grandchild. This little boy's mother died a couple of years ago and life for him has simply not been the same. Without a Mommy in the picture, and going through a bunch of Nanny's, his stability isn't there anymore and he acts out in mischievous ways. See there is reason for everything.

If you offered to be a room mom, or a teachers helper and donated some of your time to be in your child's class, then you could observe to a certain extent what is going on. Talk to the teacher and find out if the behaviors you are concerned about is something that happens when he is around particular children. Maybe he can't sit still and concerns for ADHD could be an issue. There are lots of things you can look at, but be sure to not compare him to your other children if you have others, as each one is unique. Sometimes children have worries that need attention about school, that you could discuss with your child. Sometimes parents start their children in school because their birthdays are just before the cut off deadline, but they are actually not mature enough emotionally to handle being in school.

Without knowing the specific circumstances, age and such your child is, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact nature of what your child is doing. Hopefully some of my general suggestions have helped you. If all else fails, then talk to your child and see what is on his mind. Maybe he will give you the clues you need to get your child back on the right track and relieve both your concerns and his when he is in school.

Glad you asked!

Sincerely,
Mrs. G.

Posting Notice

Because of lack of questions coming into me, I have decided that after the end of September, I will close down this blog. However, if questions begin pouring in then I will most likely reconsider. The fate of this blog lies in your hands. I would love to offer my solicited advice to help you, but I can't if you don't ask. How about making an attempt to ASK MRS.G and save the blog.

Best wishes,
Mrs. G

Being Bugged by unwanted emails

Dear Mrs. G,
I am constantly getting these unwanted emails from all kinds of people saying that they want me to help them because of their situation or they want to send me money or that I have won some kind of foreign lottery. I know that they are scams but I am so sick of getting them. If I get another email from one of these scammers, I am going to scream.

Love email, hate spammers


Dear Hating Spammers,
I can appreciate what you are saying. I think certain email carriers are better than others at controlling the spam that comes to you. I personally have several email accounts with different carriers and I believe that the ones that you can use for free are the ones that have less controls, and those are the ones that I too have trouble with. Here are some tips from me...

1. Don't reply or respond to any unsolicited emails that want to give you something for free, like winning the lottery, want to deposit money into your bank account or whatever. Those are bogus and are focusing on trying to deceive you but will sting you in the end. Delete them when they come into your inbox.

2. Don't open up unsolicited emails from people you have never heard of. Many contain virus' and your computer will be much happier if it doesn't get sick. You will be happier too, when you don't have to replace your hard drive because of a virus.

3. That delete button is there for a reason.... use it.

4. Like the old saying goes... if it is too good to be true, then it probably is.

5. If your current email carrier cannot control your spam, then change to one that can. The free ones are usually the worst for letting spam get through. If you have the ability to set your spam blocker controls higher, do it. If not, change to a more reliable carrier.

6. If you have to pay a small monthly fee to get better email service, it is worth it to not have the headache of dealing with unwanted solicitations and spam. Make your life easier in any way you can, and this one is a simple solution.

I hope that I have helped you. Emailing is a really great way to communicate and I love the technology and the Internet. It can bless your life, but if it is cursing your life, then do what you can to make a change. Oh and don't give out any personal information. Identity theft happens all the time. Don't let it catch you!

Happy Emailings,
Mrs. G

Wow, a Thank-you note!

Dear Mrs. G.

I just wanted to thank you for your new blog. It is not only cleaver, and smart but you have a great in site to problems that face so many of us. I don't have a question for your but I do love to come back to your blog and see what others have written to you about. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
P. Carnihan


Dear P. Carnihan,
It is always nice to be appreciated, and I thank you for your thanks!

Have a great day!

Sincerely,
Mrs. G

Scared and in need of some advice

Dear Mrs. G,

I just happened on your website today and I thought I would take advantage of your advice. I am a 50 year old woman and today I was just diagnosed with diabetes. When the doctor told me, I wasn't exactly surprised, as I have not felt well for a while and had put diabetes on my list of possibilities that I needed to be checked for. I am overweight and I know that I need to diet and I have abused my body for a very long time with eating fatty foods and sweets as much and when I pleased. Now I am suffering the consequences.
I just don't know if I can diet one more time, but I do want to live. I know what I should do, but I am so tired and feel so lousy, that I just can't exercise. I don't know if I can figure out this counting carbs, the food pyramid and taking insulin and it just blows my mind about the changes I am suppose to make in my eating habits. What is your advice for me?

Signed,
Newly Diagnosed

Dear Newly Diagnosed,
You said you feel "lousy", and you're too tired to exercise. Well I have to tell you one thing, no one likes to feel lousy and no one really likes to exercise, because it requires effort. It seems that the things that are best for us aren't exactly the things we would really like to do but, when we do them, we get feeling better.
Attitude is everything especially in dealing with illness. There are those who like to wallow in their own grief and wo is me attitude, and there are those who take the optimistic approach and deal with what they have to do to help themselves and do it with a smile. I hope that if I ever have to deal with something like what you are dealing with, I would choose the optimistic approach. I would hope that you too could find reasons why you need to start to look with optimism about dealing with your illness. Here are some pretty compelling reasons why....
1. Do you have family to live for and a desire to be around a whole lot longer.
2. Diabetes can be a slow disease and not a very pleasant one to live with, if you don't' take care of yourself. You can feel much, much worse if you don't take care of yourself.
3. You have allot of living left to do, and by eating right, and losing weight, you can increase your lifespan.
4. Do you have a great vocation and want to succeed until you have to retire?
5. You really do need to lose weight and this is a great and compelling reason to do it once and for all.
6. Are you a Grandma? If so, being apart of your grandchildrens lives is such a blessing. You need to be able to feel well so that you can get to know and enjoy your grandchildren.
7. Your life has been on an over eating out of control roller coaster for so many years, it is really time that you took control of your entire life!
8. There are those who look to you as an example and love you. Show them that you can conquer your fears, and doubts, and be happy and enjoy life, even with illness.

I bet you can come up with your own list to add to this one. I think you can do it and I believe that once you get your insulin levels and blood pressure taken care of, and under control, and lose some weight, you will feel so much better and continue to progress because you are happier and feel better.

Good luck and be sure to check back in with me when you have run your first marathon or at least walk your first mile.

Sincerely, Mrs. G.

Summer Fun

Dear Mrs. G,
Now that School is out and my children are all home for the summer, I am facing a dilemma and I hope you can help. My husband's salary was cut but he was able to maintain his job, but with the cut in salary, we have no money to take the kids on a Summer vacation. Historically we have been able to take a vacation each summer and have visited many fun and exciting places. Now there will be nothing for them to return to school in August to write about. What can I do that will make up for not providing a vacation for the kids this year?

Signed,
House full of kids and nowhere to go.

Dear House full,
I guess I tend to look on the optimistic side of life, and I am thinking you are looking at this in the wrong way. Just because you can't travel to a destination, doesn't mean you can't make your children's summer vacation fun and exciting. One thing that I have learned in life is that there are so many unvisited places, and very close by where people live. There are places to hike, bike, picnic, fish, boat, swim, and that's just the start of adventure. By being creative you can personally design a jam packed, fun filled summer vacation without having to spend much money.

Each city and state has a visitors or tourist bureau that has pamphlets on what to do in the state. The Internet is loaded with ideas as well if you just do a little research and find out what there is to do around you. I wish I knew where you lived so that I could look up your states resources. Day trips are a blast if you plan well. One time as a child, my parents took my family on a drive to an area where we picnicked and looked for arrow heads. It was hot, but Mom packed plenty of koolaid, and sandwiched and fruit and we really had quite an adventure. Another time, we took a drive to a field of poppies and took beautiful photos and hiked around the area seeing old ruins of the past that still had remnants there.
Another time we took out tent up a canyon and stayed over night by the river and fished, hiked, threw rocks in the river, roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. I remember hiking up to a waterfall, and then on to a cave where there were stalactite's and stalagmites and it was so exciting.

I remember the time we took our family on an hour and a half journey to see a theater in the pines portrayal of how the early settlers arrived in that area. It was well done and all of us enjoyed it. Swimming trips to the local pool really don't cost much and when we looked into a summer membership, it cut the cost almost in half for my family.

Other surrounding Cities as well as yours, probably has their own city celebrations complete with carnival, parade, programs, contests and so forth. Find out when they are and pick the events that you would like to go to.

Want to stay cool....Water fun is always fun for kids. Turn on the sprinklers and let them run through them. Put a sprinkler under the trampoline and jump and get wet. Make your own slip and slide from plastic tarp and let the sprinkler water it down. Kids will have so much fun sliding down the wet tarp. Fill up water balloons and play water Volleyball with towels to launch and catch the balloons. Make your own kites and go fly them. Fold paper airplanes and have contests to see who can fly them the furtherest. Buy a block of ice and find a hill to go iceblocking on.

There are plenty of free things to do if you look for them, and the newspapers generally display a page where there are community events. Many cities have outdoor concerts with the local children's groups, city symphonies, or other fun. Have you even thought about having movie night with your kids and their friends outside and actually taking the television or if you have a projector, outside and making popcorn to much on. Be sure to take out sleeping bags and either sleep in your pup tents or on top of the trampoline or even on the grass in your yard. Make it fun and tell ghost stories before bed. You can make your home the funnest place to be if you just get creative and do it. Budget your food for these day trips and outdoor adventures as part of your food budget so that you don't have to come up with extra money for the food.

I hope you have caught the vision of what I am suggesting. You may not be stimulating the economy by paying for hotels, or tickets on airlines, or tickets into amusement parks, but you will be stimulating your children with fun activities, and these are the things that they will remember. Your kids will have so many summer events and adventures, you children will have to go back to school to rest up from all the fun, and have to really think hard to pick the funnest one to write about what they did in the summer!

Happy Summer fun!

Mrs. G

50 + Job Seeker

On Tue, Jun 16, 2009 at 11:07 AM, someone wrote:I am going through a slump and money is very tight. I am over 50 and looking for the first job that I have had since I started having a family. What do I do? How do I look for a job? What if I don't have a degree, how do I promote myself and get hired? I am pretty scared, but in times like these, my fear is more for not having a house to live in, food on my table, ability to pay bills and even drive a car. This is something that I must do, but I need some advice. PLEASE HELP!

Sincerely,
50+ job seeker

MRS. G's RESPONSE:
Never fear... Mrs. G is here! Let's hope I can help you. I have recently gone through a very similar situation in my own home, where my husband's career of being self employed has basically bottomed out due to the companies he has been serving, have failed. He had to seek other employment for himself and so have I. Actually I created this blog as an attempt to help myself and my husband. Since I have been doing what you are asking, and yes it is a bit scary to step outside of the comfort zone that you have been in for such a long time, it can be done.

First, look to yourself and your strengths. Even though you have been a stay at home Mom for many years, you have developed in many ways. Certainly raising children, being a cook, cleaner, chauffeur, tutor, bill payer, and all of the other things you have done while raising your family have taught you something. Look to what you know. Did you learn how to use the computer and a calculator or 10 key? Did you learn how to organize your time to fit in soccer games, Prom, Church service, and all the other things? Did you learn how to budget your money and teach your children how to save? Did you learn how to use the computer when you found out that if you didn't technology and your children will pass you buy? Did you ever teach a class, crafts, music, cub scouts or otherwise? How well do you type, and better still.... how fast can you do it? Are you literate? Did you read to your children, take them to the library and know you way around the file system there? How about writing? Have you ever helped your child write a prize winning essay or have you ever attempted to write in your journal and found out as you reread it, that you are a pretty insightful and talented writer? What about cooking? Did you ever consider yourself as a short order cook? Have you ever designed or decorated or even organized a school party, family reunion, daughters wedding or better yet, a class reunion?

See.... if you think about it, just because you were a stay at home Mom, doesn't mean that you have no marketable skills. From only the few questions I asked, you could have the ability to work in a variety of vocations such as House cleaning, cooking or waitressing, book keeping or simple accounting or office work, Computer related job or City or Arts council offered class teaching. How about using your musical talent in teaching, or music writing, or even dust off your violin or flute and join the symphony? How about being a librarian, or writing your first children's book or novel. Could you be a photographer, or an event planner, or into organizational jobs? Many, many possibilities await you.

Update your resume and don't be afraid to mention those non paid talents and abilities and don't be afraid to brag about your accomplishments as who else will if you don't.

Make your resume stand out from all the others in some way. There are tons of sites on the Internet that can help you build a strong resume.

Take a look at yourself and make sure you look tidy, neat and like someone who would fit into the job that you are applying for and dress the part. You might need to go get an updated haircut, and relearn how to wear makeup to be the best you.

When you get an interview, only you can sell yourself. Be positive, and cheerful and smile. You have to sell your qualities to get the job that they might be giving to an 18 year old. Be gracious and studied on the company you are interviewing with.

I could go on and on, but let's just say that you can get any job anyone else can get, but you will have to work a little harder, but that is ok and as they say..."If it's worth having it's worth working for."

Congratulations on the new forward moving steps you are taking in your life. I have every confidence in the world in you and feel certain that you can do whatever you put your mind to doing. Let me know how things work out with your new job! Remember the power in positive thinking!!!

Sincerely and Best Wishes,
Mrs. G

Graduation, Getting a Job, Internet relationship...

Dear Mrs. G:

I have read your "Mothers Day Poem" carefully and got moved. I always feel that I own my family too much and just cann't wait to pay them back, financially-since we know we love each other.
I am very depress recently. I will graduate from Uni in July and havent got a job. Mum think that is because i didnt work hard in uni--she never believe in me. She asked me to take a postgraduate exam or some other exam to become governor in my country. But this is not life i want. I dont want political life or socalled smooth life--i want to be a freelance translator and travel to as many country as I can. Then I fall in love with a boy on line and he is not even in my country. I feel terrible. I am thinking I am gonna to lose everything...

Best wishes

Yours not happy muffin


Dear Muffin,

Real life decisions are very difficult. You sound like you love your family and want to please them but you are frustrated and stressed out with the uncertainty of what lies ahead of you. Graduation from the University was your goal for many years, but now that it is here, it is a bit frightening, because you will now need to use your education and begin your career. This is a difficult economy right now and there are so many more unemployed people trying to get a job. There is lots of competition out there for every job, but don't give up hope and keep thinking positive.

Most universities have an office that helps with placement of their graduates. Begin there and get all the information you can about how to write the best resume, and how to interview impressively. Be open minded about opportunities and send out as many resume's as you can.

Keep focused and continue your interviews and sending out resumes. Eventually you will get a job, so don't give up hope.


You mention that you fell in love with a boy online. With all you have on your mind, it is no wonder that you are feeling overwhelmed and depressed. It seems like an online romance of any sort should probably take a back seat to your most pressing needs and that is graduating and becoming employed. When the time is right you will find Mr. Wonderful!

My guess is that you have already made your Mum really proud of you for going through college and graduating. Once you have a terriffic job, I would guess that Mum will be very happy and forget what she wants and begin to see the joy you feel in your own chosen vocation.

I don't recommend online dating. There is alot of deception that goes on and you never really know for sure if the person you are chatting with is who they say they are. You have a very long life ahead of you that my best advice is to focus on your job, interviews, and then begin your dating with individuals that you meet face to face, and not online. Be very careful!

Keep Smiling, you have a great future to look forward to. I feel confident that you can do it!

Sincerely, Mrs. G

Mothers Day Poem

I wanted to share with you a favorite poem I learned from my Mother. It captures the essence of what most Mothers really want for Mothers day. Read it and make your comments below.

Thanks, Mrs. G.

WHICH LOVED BEST?
by Joy Allison (1917)

"I love you, Mother, said little John;
Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on.
And he was off to the garden swing,
Leaving his mother the wood to bring.

"I love you, Mother, said rosy Nell,
"I love you more than tongue can tell."
Then she teased and pouted full half the day.
Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.

I love you, Mother," said little Nan,
"To-day I'll help you all that I can;
How glad I am that school doesn't keep!"
So she rocked the babe till he fell asleep.

Then stepping softly, she took the broom,
And swept the floor, and dusted the room.
Busy and happy all day was she;
Helpful and happy as a child could be.

"I love you, Mother," again they said,
Three little children going to bed.
How do you think that mother guessed
Which of them really loved her best?

My advice for those who are reading this post, that all our Mother really want's is love, and kindness and thoughtfulness. She really doens't need more perfume, or clothes, or gifts you buy at the store. It is the gifts of the heart that make Mom happy. Try it and see her response.


Today my son, yes even two days before Mothers day, called me up on the telephone to wish me a Happy mothers day. He told me that he really wanted to buy me something but he was broke, so he wanted to tell me one of the greatest things that I have done for him in his life. He said though there were many, he appreciated how I took such good care of him with every migrane. He said, "Thankyou for still helping me even during the migranes and I yelled at you and was pretty mean, but somehow you knew that it was not me but the migraine."

I want to thank this son of mine, as his gratitude for me has justified me as a mother. We all question if we did enough or helped enough or loved enough, but His phone call, let me know that my mothering was enough and more.

Happy, Happy Mothers Day to all mothers! Happy, Happy Day to those who are yet to be mothers or have not had the opportunity to be one. Women deserve all the kudos that they get for all that they do in the service of their families. Have a wonderful day!

Sincerely,
Mrs. G

Crazy Economy, hobbies, Scrapbooking and more..

My husband and I are nearing retirement but with the down turn in the economy, we have been forced to make alot of changes. My husband has had to take on full time employment, because the clients he has served and done the work for, at home, have been dropping like flies. He has to travel quite a distance now, to go into work and back every day and it is really hard on him, but he has to do it or we could lose our home, and everything we have worked so hard for all these years. I also work part time, but would like to do more if my health would permit. What can I do to be of better support to him, as he comes home exhausted.

Signed,
Getting older and more tired.

Dear Getting older,

If it makes you feel any better, and it probably won't, you can know that you aren't the lone ranger. This economic crisis has hit just about everyone in one way or another, and everyone is having to make great sacrifices to live. My greatest advice to you is something that I think you might think I am alittle crazy for suggesting. Go to a video store and rent the movie "Pollyanna". Yes, I said "Pollyanna". In fact, everyone who reads this blog should do the same. The reason for suggesting this movie is that the theme for the main character in this movie, is one who no matter what troubles, challenges, hardships and difficulties she faces, looks on the bright side of things. She made up a game called "The Glad Game" to deal with difficult issues. She is one who was handed hundreds of lemons and made them all into lemonade by adding some sweetness and sugar. If you don't remember the glad game, then I guess you will for sure have to rent the movie to find out!!!

All of us could wallow in self pity, and mourn our losses, but we are still alive, and you in particular have a home still. You husband is one of the lucky ones who was able to still get a job, even though it meant travel and not working at home. My guess also is that if you are close to retiring, and He secured employment, that means his skills were still marketable, and many senior aged individuals are overlooked for younger people in the business world. You should be cheering.

If you are working part time, that means you still have time to make him a terrific home made meal for him to look forward to at the end of the day. You can support him by keeping the house tidy and even give him a foot massage or back rub as he returns home. Let him know your gratitude for his diligence in taking such good care of you and make sure you tell him of your love and appreciation. Spend your evenings together and cuddle up beside him with either a good book or a Hallmark Chanel movie (you know the feel good movies that you know how they will end at the very beginning but you enjoy the ride) , but just be together. These are the kinds of things that will make a difference in his life. He will have alot to look forward to when he finally gets home if you do the kind and little things that you know he loves, and for sure all women know that a way to a mans heart is through his stomach. The key words are "HOME MADE" not eating out or instant anything!

Count your blessings, and not the gray hairs on your heads. Smile and be happy, and like Pollyanna, look for the good and the happy thoughts instead of the downside of what you are dealing with and I believe you both will make it through all of your trying times with flying colors.

Best wishes,
Mrs. G.
P.S. When I was googling to find a photo of the Movie "Pollyanna" I came across a blog that is worth reading the post that includes some of the same sentiments that I have expressed. Go to http://hartsaplenty.blogspot.com/2008/10/pollyanna-effect.html

______________________________________________

Just a note from MRS G... For many of you who find yourselves out of work and with time on your hands, how about pulling out those hobbies that can be of value to not only relieve the stress, but let you feel like you have accomplished something. My favorite hobby is digital scrapbooking. I love to create pages that I do digitally so that I can share with my children and family, and don't have to create individual pages for them. What am I talking about... well you create one page digitally and save it and attach it to an email to all of those you thing might enjoy it too or would want to add it to their own scrapbook collection. They can then print it off for themselves, but it is you that created it. Scrap booking has taken on a whole new look thought doing it digital. When money is an issue, no problem with digital scrapbooking because you can download tons of freebie papers, elements, kits, etc, for free and you don't even have to purchase the products at the craft store. All you will need is your creative genius, digital downloaded collections and photo paper to print the, and you are on your way. I like to have my 12 x 12's printed at Costco, and if you want you can take your scrapbook pages and make photo books. If money is an issue, you can simply store your projects on a disc or on your computer or external storage to print when you can afford to do it, but in the mean time you have scrapbooked your photos and kept up with the memories. Good positive project!!!! I have a tip for you too.... if you go to http://ikeagoddess.blogspot.com/, she provides daily tips of tons of free downloads to get your paper & product collections started. Happy Scrapping!